Because I Never Did
by ShelovesDarren
Summary: If Blaine lied to Kurt because he was scared, would everything be alright again?
1. A random visit

"Oh god.." Blaine mumbled to himself nervously as he knocked on Kurt's New York apartment door three times, he was nervous; he didn't talk to Kurt since Regionals, and that was a month ago.

Kurt looked up from where he was reading the new VOGUE on the couch, a frown appearing on his face. He quickly checked the time, it was already really late. Slowly, he got up and walked towards the big heavy door, opening it.

"Hey" Blaine said softly, and Kurt almost jumped surprisingly as Blaine hesitantly took a step forward to pull him into a tight hug, the younger boy's heart beating fast just at the smell of Kurt's perfume he loved so much.

Kurt was stiff and couldn't move, he didn't expect Blaine to be here at all, still he was happy to see him, but confused. "Bl-...w-what are you doing here, Blaine?" he whispered and slowly wrapped his arms around the younger boy's body.

Blaine pulled away slowly and looked down, not really knowing what Kurt's reaction and question meant, "I-I'm sorry I'm... I just...» He slid his hands in his pockets and chewed on his bottom lip, still avoiding eye contact, "I just missed you...» He admitted quietly.

Kurt couldn't hold back a little small and the blush that was creeping to his cheeks. "Oh, uh-uhm. Well, hi then. It's nice to see you here. How long will you stay?"

Blaine finally made eye contact with Kurt, it took him a few moment of staring at the blue eyes of the boy in front of him before shaking his head lightly and speaking, "Am I- Am I deranging you? I can- I can take the plane back to Lima.. It's still early.."

"N-no, no! Don't, I- I mean, stay. Rachel is gone for the weekend anyway, she's visiting her dads for a birthday party...Something like that. Anyway, I'm glad you're here. I haven't seen you since Regionals." Kurt mumbled, his smile widening slowly and his eyes meeting Blaine's.

"Great! Uh... I mean yeah. C-can I come in?" Blaine chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, a small but excited smile on his face.

Kurt nodded quickly and stepped aside to let Blaine in. "You could have said something about visiting, though, Mister Anderson. I could have been asleep already." he teased and smirked as he closed the door when Blaine entered the apartment.

Blaine grinned and shrugged, "I just wanted it to be a surprise. And honestly, I didn't know I would arrive so late, ho- uh... Kurt" Blaine almost froze, he kept kicking himself in his mind for what he has just almost said, and he blushed lightly and followed Kurt to sit down beside him on the couch.

Kurt giggled and rolled his eyes. "Mhm, okay. So, uh... Do you want to drink something? Hungry?" He then asked softly and blushed as he noticed he was just wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt. But then he remembered: It was Blaine. His boyfr- ex-boyfriend. So he didn't care.

"Oh no thanks" Blaine answered quickly, smiling warmly, "Had a late dinner" He added and couldn't help but study Kurt's face, he has missed it, missed touching it, kissing it. He has missed Kurt so much it hurt.

Kurt nodded and sat down on the couch next to Blaine, crossing his legs. "Sooo... What's your intension to be here? NYADA?"

Blaine cleared his throat, "Well, my first intention is to visit you" He smiled sweetly before continuing, "And I'm planning on auditioning for NYADA after graduation"

Kurt smiled widely and looked at Blaine. "That's amazing, Blaine! I'm... Wow, cool! Do you already know which song to take?"

"Uhm... Actually, I couldn't decide yet" Blaine said and looked down at his lap, "But I'm thinking about a great one, not sure though" He grinned, letting out a small sigh.

"A great one? Come on, tell me, now I'm curious." Kurt smirked and took the cup with the hot chocolate he made earlier to take a small sip.

Blaine smirked and kicked his shoes, making himself comfortable on the large couch and crossing his legs in the yoga style, "Ummm.. No?" His smile grew wider and he giggled softly.

"Why not?" Kurt pouted and leaned back frowning at Blaine. "Come on, Blaine Warbler. As your former boyfriend I should know about these things." he then said, his heart skipping a beat at his own words.

Blaine' eyes winded and he swallowed, "Wha-" He looked down and then decided to shrug it off, Kurt has probably not meant it. "I won't tell you, you'll find out when I perform it" He winked and let out a small soft chuckle.

"Was that an invitation?" Kurt giggled and tilted his head, making himself comfortable on the couch. He still smiled at the younger boy, not caring that his cheeks were probably cherry red.

Blaine let out another chuckle, "Maybe?" He smirked and looked down again, smiling to himself at Kurt's red cheeks and letting out a light sigh of happiness.

"Mhm, yeah. Teaser." Kurt mumbled and took another sip of his now not so hot chocolate. "Ugh, gross. Groooossss, gross, gross, that tastes horrible!"

Blaine giggled as he looked at Kurt, he shook his head lightly and leaned forward into Kurt's direction, "Let me taste?" He grinned cheekily, looking up at Kurt and blinking innocently.

Kurt looked up at him for a moment and chewed on his bottom lip. "Uh, sure" he whispered and slowly handed Blaine the cup, his eyes never breaking the contact with Blaine's.

Blaine chuckled sweetly and took a sip from Kurt's cup, "Hmpf...» He opened his eyes widely and then his face screwed, he swallowed thickly and snorted, "Kurt! What the hell was that?!" He exclaimed and put the cup on the coffee table. "Ugh.."

"Shut up, yours would taste worse!" Kurt responded with a short laugh and rolled his eyes as he pouted slightly. "You're mean. Gonna kick ya'out!"

Blaine was laughing breathlessly, "It tastes like crap!" He breathed out between giggles and then slowly calmed down, wiping at his eyes, "Okay, where's the kitchen, let me show you some of Blaine Anderson's skills" He said and stood up, winking at Kurt and grinning widely, "You stay here, Hummel. Don't want you to find out about my secret recipe"

"I already know these skills, Blaine." Kurt said softly and smiled at the other man. "Loved them- no. Still love them." he giggled and looked down to the cup in front of him.

"You're adorable" Blaine said softly and nearly ran in the direction of the kitchen, not regretting a word of what he's just said but feeling the heat creeping to his cheeks.

Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine and let out a small sigh. He then decided to get up and followed Blaine to the kitchenette. "Am I, huh?" he mumbled under his breath and leaned against the counter, playing with his fingers.

Blaine hummed and started preparing the hot chocolate, "You are. Very adorable" He grinned widely without looking at Kurt.

Kurt just smirked and rolled his eyes again, feeling his cheeks blushing. "Thank you...I guess." he said, his voice small but happy.

Blaine shrugged, "No need" He smiled widely and grabbed two mugs, filling them with hot chocolate and handed one of them to Kurt, "Here, be impressed" He smirked teasingly.

Kurt stuck out his tongue and looked into the mug, smelling the sweet aroma of the hot chocolate. "Mhmmm, smells good." he whispered and closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath.

Blaine looked at him with loving eyes, he smiled softly, lost in the sight of the boy in front of him, "Mhhm" was all he managed to say.

Kurt took a small sip of the hot chocolate and a moan escaped his throat at how great it tasted and Blaine had to swallow and he took a shaky breath. He quickly covered his mouth, giggling nervously after swallowing the cacao. "I...uh, sorry. Just too delicious!"

"I-It's okay.." Blaine breathed out and chuckled nervously, sitting at the counter and facing Kurt. He took a sip of hot chocolate and grinned, "Compare this.." He took another sip, "To that.. Thing you made" He said and snorted.

"Oh fuck you, Anderson. I just got up and needed something. Quickly. You know I'm a loser in kitchen." Kurt grumbled under a grin and took another sip.

Blaine smiled widely, "Aaand he admitted!" He said loudly and happily, taking another huge sip, finishing his mug and exhaling loudly.

"You're unbelievable." Kurt mumbled and shook his head, rolling his eyes. He then put the empty mug on the kitchen counter and let out a small sigh. "Thanks, I needed this."

Blaine shook his head, grinning widely, "Don't thank me" He followed Kurt and rinsed the mugs, his heart fastening just at how comfortable it felt to be with Kurt again, it was like the old days they spent together on holidays, even though something was missing, no 'I love you's, no kisses.

Kurt smiled and slid his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, a soft yawn escaping his throat. He watched Blaine and somehow felt a weird feeling of being home again rushing through him, he quickly tried to shrug it off.

Blaine dried his hands with the kitchen towel and looked at Kurt, tilting his head, "Sleepy?" He asked softly, his big puppy eyes shining with love and care.

"Hmmm. Didn't sleep that night. At all." he groaned and walked back to the couch. "Someone decided to throw a big street party and didn't even invite me."

Blaine followed him and frowned, "Someone?" He asked with concern, sitting back down next to Kurt, but keeping a certain safe distance, "Who?"

Kurt shrugged and threw his head back, closing his eyes. "An idiot? I don't know, but it was loud and I couldn't fall asleep. I must look horrible."

Blaine bit on his lower lip and sighed, shaking his head. "You don't look horrible, Kurt. You never do" He said quietly and smiled a little bit.

Kurt opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Blaine, a small smile appearing on his face. "I-... Thank you." he whispered and studied Blaine carefully. "I missed you."

Blaine nodded lightly and smiled softly, "I missed you, too" He whispered and looked down, nervously playing with his fingers on his lap.

A slightly awkward silence surrounded them in which Kurt kept looking at Blaine. His own hair was ruffled from the night and his clothes messy. And then there was Blaine: perfectly styled, gelled hair, but something missed and Kurt quickly figured out. "Blaine? Where's the bow tie?"

Blaine looked up and then down again, he shrugged, "It's just... I don't wear them often anymore" He mumbled and sighed shakily before looking up at Kurt.

"Why?" Kurt asked, slightly concerned. "You always used to wear bow ties when we dat-..." he quickly cut himself off" O-oh. ...Really?"

Blaine nodded and swallowed, feeling his chest tightening and his eyes stinging, he forced a smile and looked up, He then looked away again and chuckled nervously, "You used to love them, remember that black one with red stripes you bought me?" He asked, faking an excited grin but still looking away, avoiding eye contact.

Kurt sighed and bit his lips, pressing them together as he hesitantly shifted closer to Blaine, causing him to shiver and nearly pull away, but then he remembered, it's just Kurt, and Kurt would never hurt him. "Hmm… Remembering that one. You still have it?" Kurt slowly wrapped his arms around the younger boy and rested his head on his shoulder

"Of course I still have it" He said, his voice breaking just a little bit at the end of the sentence, he chuckled again, it became a new way for him to hide his emotions, "I still have them all"

Kurt closed his eyes again and smiled slightly. "You better do. That one was expensive." he mumbled and sighed, the closeness feeling good again after so long time.

Blaine chuckled and rolled his eyes slightly, "Even if it wasn't expensive, I would keep it" He whispered and hesitantly rested a hand on Kurt's that was on his stomach, Blaine's hand was shaking nervously, as if he was afraid of screwing it again.

"Comfy..." Kurt whispered and giggled sweetly. "And cozy." he added and yawned again, feeling himself drifting off slowly and fighting against the urge to just fall asleep on Blaine.

Blaine giggled, "W-we can cuddle if you want to..." He murmured quietly and turned his head to look at a sleepy Kurt, fighting the urge of kissing him and barely winning the battle.

Kurt just hummed and smiled lazily. "Okay" He mumbled, already dozing off.

"Kurt? Hey, let's just.." Blaine shifted and lied down on his back on the couch, pulling Kurt with him gently and wrapping his arms around the other boy, soothing his back gently.

"Mhng, o-oh, yeah. That's nice." he whispered sleepily and snuggled to Blaine's warm body, his head resting on his chest. "Is this...okay for you?"

Blaine looked down at him and nodded, his heart racing, "Yeah, just get some sleep" He whispered and ran a hand through Kurt's soft hair, "Sleep well, Kurt" He whispered again and cleared his throat.

"You're heart is racing, Blaine." Kurt stated quietly and absent mindedly rubbed the younger boy's chest, like the old times, and the smile on his lips grew wider.

"Your fault, now sleep" Blaine murmured, not even trying to hide his emotions or be careful with his words, he shivered at Kurt's touch and hummed quietly, closing his eyes and smiling softly.

Kurt smirked and let out a small chuckle. "Hmm...okay." he whispered and again yawned softly, burying his face to Blaine's chest.

Blaine kept rubbing up Kurt's neck and down his spine over and over again, trying to make him relax. Kurt's warm breath tickling his chest, he then opened his eyes and looked down at Kurt, he felt a mixture of happiness, regret, sadness and love and his chest tightened, he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and sighed, fighting back some tears that tried to fall.

Kurt breathed slowly and deeply, his mouth was slightly parted and his eye closed. Even if he was asleep, he could feel how Blaine was arguing with himself, so he just mumbled "It's fine." as if he knew what was going on inside his ex.

Blaine looked down again and moved one arm to cover his eyes with his palm, he squeezed them shut and took a deep shaky breath as a small smile appeared on his lips, he didn't know why he's smiled, but he felt like finally, after months of loneliness, he's gotten the chance to at least hold Kurt and make him feel better.

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**Better chapters coming soon! Promise.**

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed :) x**


	2. A Normal Nightmare

About six hours later Kurt woke up again, the smile on his face never leaving. He slowly raised his head and blinked a few times. Noticing where he was and remembering who was with him, his cheeks flushed and he swallowed hard while Blaine was still asleep peacefully, his chest rising and falling as his lips were slightly parted. He had an arm around Kurt's back and the other hand was on his soft hair.

Kurt smiled shyly to himself. He didn't want to move, he was too comfortable like that. Sighing, he hesitantly nuzzled back to Blaine's stomach and closed his eyes, not knowing what to think about all this. A few seconds later, Blaine hummed in his sleep and his eyebrows furrowed, he tightened his embrace and shifted a little bit and Kurt looked up, letting a soft _'I love you'_ escape his mouth, but quickly regretting it.

Blaine frowned even more and quiet whines escaped his mouth, "K'rt... N-no... Uhhnf.." He kept mumbling words, most of them sounding incoherent and he pressed Kurt closer to him, "Hmnngh'sorry... Mhm' no..."

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip, a quiet sob escaping his throat as the realization of everything came back, he was with Blaine, Blaine who hurt him. "I-I'll be right back" He whispered and freed himself from Blaine's embrace, rushing to the small bathroom, leaving the other boy curled up on the couch, still asleep, as he started crying and whining, "Sorry.. Sorry... 'm sorry... please mhmgh.." He kept saying a little bit loudly, his body trembling.

Kurt turned around on the half of the way and felt his lips trembling. He was torn, he was since the day he heard Blaine saying _those words_ as he visited him several months ago, but Blaine was crying and Blaine needed him right now. So he decided to be there for him, instead of ignoring it like he always did.

Blaine groaned, "No... love mh'you.. Kurt.. Hmm... Sorry... N-no!" He cried more, his whole body shaking, his arms wrapped around himself protectively, "Kuuurt.." He whined softly.

"Ssshh. Blaine, hey. Blaine, I'm here, wake up. It's fine." Kurt mumbled and babbled as he rushed over to the couch, tears now filling his eyes. He slightly shook Blaine, wanting, needing him to wake up and he did as Blaine suddenly woke up, snapping his eyes wide open and gasping loudly, he looked around in confusion and realized where he was, realized that he had another nightmare, he then noticed Kurt crying and wiped his eyes roughly.

"H-hey, no. Kurt, come here" He said softly, his voice a little bit husky, looking at Kurt with concern as he tried to shift closer to him.

"You were crying." Kurt whispered, his voice small. "I-I think...you had a nightmare or something like that. I just wanted to go sure you are okay." he added silently and looked down, not knowing what to do.

Blaine let out the most fake and nervous chuckle he would ever manage to let out, "It's fine... I'm okay. I'm used to this. Don't cry, okay?" He whispered and held Kurt close, hugging him tight and rubbing his back gently.

Kurt's heart skipped a beat and he gasped, his eyes widening. "W-what do you mean with...you're used to it? "

Blaine shook his head and swallowed, "Nothing, never mind. It's nothing" He forced a smile and looked down at Kurt, wiping a single tear from his cheek.

Kurt felt guilty. More guilty than ever and he didn't even know why. At least not exactly. "Blaine..." he started but cut himself off, a knot blocking his throat.

Blaine let go of him and turned to face him, "Kurt, look at me" He rested both hands on Kurt's shoulders, "None of this is your fault, okay? Don't feel like it's your fault because it really isn't" He said softly yet firmly, looking into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt swallowed thickly around the knot in his throat and shrugged slightly. "I just- ...u-uhm... D-do we...I mean... Hey, what about going outside a bit? It's sunny today" he blurted out after stuttering at the beginning.

Blaine smiled softly, his heart aching a little bit; he made a promise not to sleep near Kurt, to make sure he doesn't find out about his nightmares, but he did. He nodded, "Yeah, sounds good" He said softly and pulled Kurt into a quick warm hug, not knowing the reason but just needing to do it as Kurt closed his eyes again, quickly relaxing in Blaine's embrace. He wrapped his arms around his neck and sighed shakily before burying his face to the younger boy's neck.

Blaine sighed and bit on his lip before hesitantly pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's temple, "I lo- uh... I-I mean, Go get prepared, okay?" He said and swallowed, pulling away from the hug slowly, mentally kicking himself again for talking and acting without thinking.

Kurt blushed and turned his head to look at Blaine, a little bit shocked at the sweet kiss. He stared at Blaine for a moment but then quickly got up to look for appropriate clothes and Blaine blinked slowly and sighed as the other boy ran quickly to his bedroom. He rubbed his face with his palm and waited there, making mental notes: Don't flirt, don't get too close, don't kiss him, pet names are forbidden, just don't. Kurt and you aren't together anymore.

"You can just rest your bag next to my bed." Kurt shouted over to Blaine and quickly took off his shirt and sweatpants, looking for something to wear.

Blaine's gaze traveled to the direction of where Kurt was and his eyes widened, he swallowed thickly and blushed, "Y-yea-Okay...» He looked away and sighed shakily, Kurt's body has nothing to do with what he looked like a few months ago, at that time, it was beautiful, smooth pale skin, small waist, but now, it was the closest thing to perfection, firm arms, chest and abs muscles, strong legs, with that slim waist that made everything look beautiful. Blaine shook his head lightly, chasing all the inappropriate thoughts away. He got up and carried his bag, resting it next to Kurt's bed with nervous, shaky hands.

Kurt took some skin tight, green jeans and quickly pulled them up his legs. "Shit, my hair. Oh God, I look horrible." he kept mumbling to himself and then grabbed a dark grey shirt, putting it on as well. "Ugly ugly ugly...damn...scarf...where... ugh"

Blaine plopped down on the couch, lying back there and facing the opposite side of the apartment to avoid watching Kurt. "You don't look horrible, you look good in those clothes" He said, not even knowing if Kurt has put his clothes on or not yet.

"You didn't even look at them, Blaine. And my hair is a mess." Kurt grumbled but smirked at the sweet compliment. He rushed over to the bathroom to half heartedly fix his hair and came back after about five minutes. "Okay.. Good, I-I'm ready."

Blaine sat up and grinned, "Told you. You look _amazing_" He said as he studied Kurt's body, his heart beat fastening a bit; skin tight jeans light shirt, scarf, soft styled hair, Perfect.

"Like dirty cute, huh?" Kurt smirked and played with his fingers, a soft giggle escaping his throat and he looked down, remembering the week they spent together a few months ago. It was the only week Kurt had felt happy after a long time and from what he felt now, he finally knew again whose _'fault'_ that was.

Blaine chuckled, "Like dirty cute" He repeated and grinned widely then stood up, bending over to put his shoes on.

Kurt chuckled and took his shoes on as well. "So, uh... We could go to Starbucks and get some breakfast and eat it at Central Park maybe?" he suggested as he got up again,

"Yeah, sounds great" Blaine said and smiled happily, "Though nothing beats Lima Bean's breakfast" He said and stretched his arms.

"Mhm, nice times, that's right. I miss Lima Bean sometimes. We always had much fun there. Well, at least until that mouse appeared" Kurt laughed and shivered as he grabbed his phone, the keys and his pocket.

Blaine giggled, "yeah, it was fun" He said and followed Kurt to the door, "From what I know, someone really loves cheesecake" He smirked and glanced at Kurt, "And they sell now super delicious ones there" His smirk grew wider and they both got out of the apartment.

"Oh crap! Now that I'm gone they do that, huh? Nice one. Damn" Kurt groaned and closed the door behind them and Blaine laughed.

"I'll try to bring you some, next time" He said softly and smiled sweetly, "Because I'm a good bo-best friend!" He added and blushed at the word that nearly escaped.

Kurt knew exactly what Blaine was about to say and swallowed, smiling softly. "You are definitely." he whispered and looked at him. He then waited a moment and linked his arm with Blaine's who smiled sweetly and shivered lightly at Kurt's touch.

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**Let me know if you liked this chapter :)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. I Suffered

"So, How is New York?" Blaine asked and as they were making their way down the street to Starbucks.

Kurt hummed and chuckled. "Great, and big. Sometimes too big for a lonely Hummel..." he admitted and shrugged, tightening the grip around Blaine's arm. "Which makes me even happier, that you're here now. Rachel can be so annoying, oh God. It's horrible sometimes"

Blaine felt his heart fluttering at Kurt's words and he sighed softly, a loving look on his face, "I'm glad you're happy" He said softly and looked away, a small smile never leaving his lips.

Happy, He wasn't happy with the general situation but right in that moment, it was how he felt. "Hmm, me too. And you? Are... How's Lima? How is Glee club going?"

Blaine shrugged, "It's fine, just like you always knew it. Lima never changes" He said and smiled softly at Kurt, looking into his eyes for a moment before clearing his throat and looking away again.

Kurt nodded and smiled back before looking to the sunny sky. "Let's walk. The metro is probably overcrowded now and that's awful. Okay?"

Blaine nodded, "Hmm, sure" He said and pulled Kurt a little bit closer to him, feeling the need to be close and safe, he remained silent, yet a small smile was still on his lips as Kurt looked over at him and blushed a little bit when he pulled him closer. Hesitantly, he caressed the younger boy's arm with his thumb, making him shiver, before slowly taking his hand to lace their fingers.

Blaine he looked up at Kurt and then down at their hands, immediately squeezing the other boy's lightly, he smiled sweetly and his heart almost skipped a beat, "T-this is... Much better" He breathed out and looked down shyly.

Kurt giggled softly and hummed. "I just...need a friend to...be here with me now, okay? And since you're my best friend..." he mumbled and swallowed and how platonic this was.

Blaine cleared his throat and bit on his lip, "Yeah..." He mumbled quietly but then looked up and smiled small. "Y-yeah, sure... I mean- we're here for each other" He then and looked away with a heavy sigh.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked hesitantly and chewed on his bottom lip, obviously knowing that Blaine was not okay and the other boy looked at him, expression indescribable.

"Y-yeah... I'm fine" He said with a smile, giving the other boy's hand a light squeeze again. "How's Adam?" He blurted out, a forced smile on his face.

Kurt blushed and sighed. "We...Um, Blaine, listen. Adam is just a friend, okay? We talked about it and he said, I should tell him, when I'm ready. But I didn't tell him." he smiled and didn't look at him.

Blaine looked at him for a moment and then nodded, "Okay" He just said and looked away again, chewing on his bottom lip, not knowing how to react, not knowing what Kurt really meant.

Kurt swallowed and blushed even more. "Okay?" he asked shyly and tilted his head, looking at Blaine.

Blaine sighed lightly and looked at Kurt, for a moment, "Kurt, I'll be honest, I'm fighting the urge to kiss you so please. Can we- Can we talk about something else?" Blaine admitted, eyes watering a little, "That Adam thing makes me sick, I shouldn't have talked about him, at all" He looked away and swallowed, feeling jealous.

Kurt stopped walking and looked at Blaine, biting his lips. "B-Blaine...I...uh..." he stuttered, not knowing what to say and Blaine sighed, pulled Kurt by his hand and started walking again, squeezing it protectively.

They reached Starbucks and he opened the door for Kurt. After they both entered, he bit on his lip and looked at Kurt "I'll order" He said softly and smiled.

Kurt frowned but blushed, feeling flattered and loved somehow. "Um, o-okay." he mumbled and smiled softly at Blaine.

Blaine didn't let go of Kurt's hand while ordering, he just couldn't, not after finally getting the chance to hold it again, he knew Kurt did probably not want them to get back together and it was killing him. They got their orders and walked out of Starbucks, Blaine again, never letting go if Kurt's hand.

Kurt followed him and let out a long sigh, not commenting Blaine's weird and possessive behavior until he couldn't hold it back any longer. "Damn it, Blaine! What are you doing? "

"Um... What?" He asked and frowned in confusion, biting his lower lip, not really noticing how tight his grip on Kurt's hand was.

"Your behavior is...kind of weird, to be honest." Kurt mumbled and nervously rolled his eyes as they stopped at a traffic light.

"W-what..." He raised his eyebrows and noticed that he was holding, squeezing Kurt's hand oddly, "O-oh, I-I'm sorry..." He blushed deeply and let go of Kurt's hand, "I didn't mean to... Oh god I'm so sorry..." He looked down and chewed his bottom lip nervously as they started walking again.

"It's… Okay" Kurt said quietly, slightly admiring Blaine's blush and smiling to himself. "Can we sit there? It's my favorite spot and no one really sit there usually" He said and pointed his index finger at a small spot, covered with green grass.

Blaine looked at the direction Kurt pointed at and nodded shyly, feeling extremely embarrassed after acting oddly. "Yeah...» He mumbled quietly, avoiding eye contact with the older boy.

"Blaine, it's alright. I was the one who took your hand, calm down." Kurt chuckled and sat down a few moments later when they reached the sunny spot. "It's fine, okay?"

"Okay... I just... I didn't mean to act so... Possessive" He swallowed and took a sip of coffee from his large cup, "I got... Um... Jealous" He looked at Kurt with careful, regretful eyes.

"Of Adam?" Kurt asked softly and crossed his legs, studying Blaine. He played and fumbled with the cup of coffee in his hands and felt heat creeping to his cheeks.

Blaine blushed even more, "Y-yeah..." He sighed and took another sip of coffee, "I-it's... Whatever... Forget it, I'm just... I had no right to do that... It's not like we're b-" He swallowed and gestured at between them then looked down nervously and Kurt let out another, smaller, sigh and looked at the younger boy with slightly teary eyes.

"Blaine I-" he started but then hesitated. "I-I know. This is difficult... I just... I'm trying. I'm... Nearly there. Okay?" He continued and gave Blaine who nodded lightly a small smile.

"I know.. I- What did you exactly heard me saying in my sleep last night?" He asked curiously and took a small bite of his muffin, chewing it slowly and waiting for Kurt's answer.

Kurt bit his lip and kept looking at Blaine. "I- uh… Didn't really understand so much of it. You seemed upset and you cried and whined. And I- you said my name a lot."

Blaine gasped lightly, "Uh.. Okay" He turned his head to look at a bunch of kids playing with a football, he smiled and sighed, "It's.. Beautiful, I mean here, it's peaceful" He said softly and looked back at Kurt, trying to avoid talking about them, their relationship.

Kurt gave him a small but sweet smile and took a sip of his coffee before starting to eat his donut. "Mhmm, it is. Sometimes I come here, to exactly this spot, and just lie down for a moment," he said while doing exactly this, lying down, "And just enjoy silence and think. That's my favorite place here... Not even Rachel knows it."

Blaine smiled down at him and blinked slowly, "It's relaxing" He breathed out and watched Kurt for a moment before a football hit his shoulder lightly, he gasped slightly in surprise and then saw a little boy running towards him, falling down just when he arrived in front of Blaine, Kurt sat up surprisingly but remained silent.

"Oh, hey...» Blaine hurried to sit on his knees and pulled the boy up, "You okay buddy?" He asked softly and the boy shook his head and grabbed his knee, "Let's see what you got there.." Blaine smiled and leaned forward to rub the little boy's knee, "Does it hurt?" He asked softly, and the boy let out a small 'no'. "We'll give it a little kiss... It will feel better" He said softly pressed a gentle kiss to his knee, smiling warmly as Kurt swallowed at the sight, looking at them softly. He then bit his lip and smiled warmly. He tried his best but in the end he couldn't hold back the imaginations of him and Blaine. Together. In some years. With their child.

"Alright, does it feel better?" Blaine asked softly, a smile on his lips and the boy nodded, "Kisses heal everything, remember that" He said and glanced over at Kurt quickly. "Now here's your ball" he handed the boy the small football, "Be careful next time, alright?" He said and the boy nodded, "Thank you, sir. You're kind" He said and smiled sweetly then ran back to his friends. Blaine chuckled and watched him leaving.

Kurt kept staring at Blaine with teary eyes. He chuckled nervously and scratched his neck. "W-wow, that was...sweet." he mumbled and took another sip of his coffee.

Blaine looked at Kurt and smiled softly as he shrugged, "I just love kids, they are innocent and sweet, watching them always make me feel better somehow" He said and blushed lightly.

Kurt nodded slowly and lied back down, propping on his elbows. "Hm. Yeah, kids are...nice." he agreed and sighed. _'Even nicer with you...'_ He thought and closed his eyes for a moment.

Blaine hummed and crossed his legs, he took another small bite from his muffin, he chewed it slowly and swallowed, took a small sip of coffee before leaning down towards Kurt, their face only inches apart, "Kurt?" He asked softly, breathing against the other boy's lips.

Kurt felt his heart racing and kept his eyes closed, trying not to freak out. "Y-yeah?" he whispered, his lips parted.

Blaine stared at Kurt's lips for a moment before grinning widely, "Still ticklish?" He said and rested both hands on the other boy's sides while kneeling in front of him, he started tickling him.

Kurt widened his eyes at Blaine's words and gasped. "I-uh... N-no-ah, B-Blaine, no, s-stop!" he started laughing and squirmed under the younger boy.

Blaine chuckled and straddled Kurt's hips, "Never" He said and smirked, his fingertips running up and down the other boy's sides, "Suffer, Hummel"

Kurt squealed and tried to kick Blaine off of his body. "B-Blaahaaaiiiiiine! I-aaah stop, I su-suffered e-enough the last m-months, s-stop!" he laughed and didn't even notice what he just said.

Blaine immediately stopped and his eyes widened, "W-what?" He asked quietly, his hands still resting on Kurt's sides.

"Huh? What? Thank you for stopping, asshole." he grinned and pushed Blaine off of him, sitting up again. "Are you okay?"

Blaine watched Kurt for a moment with his mouth slightly dropped open; he thought for a moment that he has imagined what he's heard. He then nodded and swallowed, "I-I-I'm fine" He said, his eyes never leaving Kurt's face, studying it carefully.

Kurt frowned and then it hit him. His eyes widened again and he swallowed hard. "NO! I-I didn't...I mean, I...oh God, no Blaine. D-don't...I mean, I...Um..." he stammered and blushed immediately

Blaine looked down, "You were s-suffering, I d-did that to you " He said quietly, staring blankly at his lap, he eyes wide opened. He felt his heart aching, it all came back to him, it all came back. But if Kurt only knew…

Kurt didn't know what to say. The pain crept through him and he felt a big knot building in his throat. "Blaine, please stop. D-don't, I-I don't want to...I can't... Look, we both can't change what happened, neither what I have done nor what you have done. Please just...don't okay, I-I..." Kurt babbled and silent sobs escaped his throat as his eyes slowly filled with tears, causing him to look away.

Blaine shook his head, still looking away, "I just wanted us to be happy again, but you're still hurt, you can't trust me again, I can't even trust myself anymore" He said quietly but firmly, looking up at Kurt with eyes wider than usual, there was no tears left to let go, his expression was blank, not showing any emotion because he was confused, he didn't know how to feel or how to explain it anymore to Kurt.

Kurt couldn't bear Blaine's babbling anymore. The things he said hurt him and he knew they hurt Blaine as well. His heart beat fastened and he turned around to Blaine, his head snapping forward and he pressed a firm kiss to the younger boy's lips to shush him and Blaine's eyes snapped wide opened and he gasped when Kurt pressed their lip together, his heart was beating fast, very fast. "Stop. Talking. Please. W-we...we will be... I mean, I-I... You did listen to me earlier, right? I'm nearly there. But you have to forgive yourself, Blaine. Otherwise this," he gestured to the both of them "will never work out again."

Blaine let it go, tears started streaming down his cheeks and he nodded quickly, "Y-yeah... I-I'm sorry... I-" He let out a soft quiet sob and wiped his eyes, licking his lips just to remember the taste of Kurt's lips and a small smile appeared on his lips, Kurt's lips are still the same.

Kurt pulled him into a tight hug and sighed, closing his eyes. "I know you regret it. And I...forgive you this...I th-think. It just...the thing is just...it's still there, you know? And I need just a little bit more time to...let go of this."

Blaine sighed shakily and nodded, he chin resting on Kurt's shoulder and his arms wrapped around his middle, "I know, Kurt. I'm still here. I'm waiting for you until you're ready" He said with a trembling voice and sniffled, "I can wait forever" He whispered honestly and softly.

"It... Won't take much longer, I think." Kurt mumbled and nuzzled his nose to Blaine's warm neck, his eyes closed and he didn't even think about letting go of Blaine. Never.

Blaine smiled and closed his eyes, his hands rubbing Kurt's back gently, "Take your time, I'll just be here" He whispered into the other boy's ear and sighed. For once since months, Blaine felt like he finally did something good, Kurt needed time, and Blaine was finally ready to give him all the time in the world.

Kurt hummed and pulled Blaine closer again. "I love you, okay. I will always love you." he whispered, his voice barely audible but enough for Blaine to hear it.

"I love you, too Kurt." Blaine whispered and sighed. "Can we go home?" He asked after pulling away slowly and a small smile appeared on his lips.

Kurt chuckled nervously and nodded. "Y-yeah, Um... W-we should g-go now. Let's go, come on." he murmured and got up, softly tugging at Blaine's hand.

Blaine smiled sweetly and nodded, "Okay" He stood up as well, straightened his clothes and followed Kurt quickly, squeezing his hand softly, "Your hands are still as soft as they always were" He said shyly and chuckled nervously after a few moments of silence.

"I hope that's good, then." Kurt giggled and slid his other hand into his pocket, letting out a long sigh as they walked back through the streets of New York City.

Blaine smiled widely, "Mhmm, perfect. I like your hands" He admitted and looked away, stroking the back of Kurt's hand with his thumb.

"Blaine..." Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes, blushing even more. Of course he loved the other boy's compliments, he really did, but on the other side they made him feel pushed and confused. He was still struggling with himself, although he knew it was just a question of time until he would be ready again.

"I- sorry, I was... Sorry. Maybe I should..." Blaine stuttered and pulled his hand away; sliding both of his hands in his jean's pocket, looking down and walking next to the other boy and Kurt wanted to punch himself in that moment but didn't say anything and just hummed, swallowing and feeling that knot again. He hoped Blaine would take his hand again so he just let it hang loosely next to his body.

Blaine was walking and looking at the shops and buildings blankly, he hated himself for doing this, losing control of his emotions and overreacting about things Kurt says, he knew Kurt needed time, so he just decided that physical distance might help him, he didn't want to put more pressure on him.

After a while they arrived at Kurt's and Rachel's apartment again and walked up the stairs. Kurt took out the keys and opened the door. Silence remained since Blaine took his hand away and Kurt couldn't change but feel guilty.

Blaine entered the apartment and sighed, he kicked his shoes off and walked towards the couch before sitting down, "Home, sweet home" He mumbled quietly and chuckled, trying to make that pressure go away, looking at Kurt with careful yet soft eyes.

Kurt smiled at him and closed the door before walking over to his bedroom. "Uh, wanna watch a movie maybe? Or do you have other ideas?" he shouted over while thinking about changing jeans into comfortable sweatpants again.

Blaine shrugged, "I don't know..." He answered and noticed the Vogue magazine on the coffee table, "Oh, How's it going at work?" He shouted over as he took the magazine and started reading some lines from the front page.

Kurt came back after a few minutes, now wearing his grey sweats again. "Here." he said and threw another pair right to Blaine's face who chuckled and put the pants away from his face "Uh, it's good. I can't go that often anymore though. NYADA takes a lot of time."

"I see..." He said and got up, "Gonna... Um..." He gestured at Kurt's room before walking away quickly.

Kurt nodded and sat down on the couch, thinking about what Blaine meant with 'I see'. He curled up in one corner of the couch with the VOGUE magazine Blaine had just looked at, starting to re-read it.

Blaine put the sweatpants on and took his shirt off, he opened his small bag and started searching for a T-shirt before realizing he has forgot his comfortable clothes on his own bed, in Lima, he sighed nervously and looked around, "Kurt? Do you have any T-shirt, I didn't bring any" He shouted over.

"Uh, wait." Kurt answered and got up from the couch, rushing over to Blaine and swallowing as he saw his body. "I-I, um..." he stuttered and opened his closet to look for a t-shirt. Unfortunately, a little box fell on the floor, right to Blaine's feet.

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